i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
