so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
