I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she smelled like a LAN party
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I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
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I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
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