btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
