HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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