Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
