The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
