yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
