I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
