I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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