I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
