But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
my liver is dry heaving
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize