In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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