Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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