how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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