tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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