Everything about him screamed your future.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
