"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
