when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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