My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
