Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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