You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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