There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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