i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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