you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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