...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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