Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
