I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
