apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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