my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
