That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
