It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
