and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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