I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
