There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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