the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
