a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
