where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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