idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
