Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
There are leaves in my underwear?
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