what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
