If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
