i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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