Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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