After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
