Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
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I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
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I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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