im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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