it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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