I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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