and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
