I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
