He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
