Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Im part way to drunk.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
