trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
