Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
