if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
