better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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