Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
