she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
