She is in my trunk
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
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Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
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I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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