I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
