Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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