the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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