So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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